I Should Tell You
by dothestarswithyou
Summary: After Francis and Antonio break up, Antonio moves in with Gilbert and decides that the best way to forget about Francis is to focus all his energy into setting Gilbert up with his childhood friend, Elizaveta. Frain, eventual Pruhun.
1. Monday

_You smoke like a chimney. You'll talk circles around something for days and then turn it into poetry, just to avoid saying what you really think. You've mastered the art of talking without saying anything, and of casually sliding out of any situation you don't feel like dealing with. You can be pretentious, condescending, and downright confusing._

_But I love you._

_I love your eyes. I love your cooking. I love when you get paint on your face and don't notice because you're so absorbed in your painting that for once you aren't worrying about your appearance. I love the way you look at me sometimes like I'm the only person in the world. I love how your hair falls against your eyes when you lean in to kiss me, and I love the feel of your stubble against my cheek. I've never been happier than I am when we're together. I want you to be mine and mine alone. I'm tired of not knowing how you feel, or whether I'm the only one. I want something more than what we have. I just don't know how to tell you that._

* * *

><p>Immediately after graduating from college, Francis and Antonio moved into the small studio apartment they had decided to share in New York. It took about two weeks after moving in for them to start fucking. It was, they felt, only the natural conclusion of two very close (and very attractive) young men moving in with each other. They were amazed they hadn't thought of this in college.<p>

Unfortunately, things went sour after about six months. That was still a long time for so ill-defined a relationship to last, Liz told Antonio later in an attempt to comfort him. It didn't help.

It had been so damn _convenient_. That was the problem. When you already know how to live with someone and what brand of toothpaste they use (Crest Pro-Health Whitening) and how to cheer them up after a bad day at work (a tall glass of champagne and excessive sympathy) and even how to say _I love you_ to them, and you add sex into that mix and still aren't allowed to call it a relationship, well, that's a little confusing for someone as simple-minded as Antonio. His inadequacy at math may have nearly caused him to fail Introduction to Finance- _three years ago, that was when he met Francis_- but he was pretty sure that love plus living together plus really, really great sex was supposed to equal boyfriends.

Francis, apparently, wasn't so sure. One afternoon, Antonio had spontaneously decided to write down all his feelings about Francis and their relationship on the back of their shopping list. After Francis found that rather incriminating piece of evidence, things became first awkward, and then progressively more tense. Inevitably, there was a huge fight. It was loud and ugly and embarrassing- for Antonio, anyway- and it was the only thing in the three years since he'd met Francis that made him worry about the state of their friendship.

That night, he found himself on Gilbert's doorstep, red-eyed and apologizing profusely, with a suitcase full of hurriedly-packed clothes and necessities. His explanation was tear-filled and incoherent, but Gilbert seemed to get the gist of it.

"That guy is way too complicated," Gilbert told him. "He's obsessed with '_l'amore'_ but when he finally gets a real chance at it, he kicks it out of his apartment." Antonio replied by sobbing onto Gilbert's shoulder for ten minutes. Gilbert responded in the only way he could: by steering Antonio to the couch, getting two beers out of the fridge, and putting in the DVD of _Beaches_ that he swore he only kept for when Antonio came over. As an afterthought, he grabbed a box of tissues from the bathroom. It was time for some hardcore bromancing.


	2. Thursday

"_Hey, we need to go grocery shopping this weekend. We're out of milk."_

_ "I know." Francis was standing in the doorway with the shopping list in his hand, looking at what was written on the back of the list, with an expression that Antonio couldn't read._

_ "Oh."_

_ "Antonio, you know this isn't…what we're supposed to be. It was just supposed to be fun."_

_ "Yeah. You're right."_

_ "Antonio-"_

_ "No. It's fine." He walked over to the doorway, took the list from Francis' hand, and grabbed his coat. "I'll just go do the grocery shopping now, then."_

* * *

><p>For the first few days, Antonio rarely left the nest of blankets and tissues he'd built on the couch. When Gilbert was at work, he just sat in the apartment, or wandered around the city aimlessly. It wasn't until Thursday evening- three days after the fight- that he found something to do with himself.<p>

"Y'know, your phone's been turned off since you got here," Gilbert said suddenly, as they were washing the dishes after dinner.

"Oh. Yeah. Out of battery," he lied.

"You can always use my charger," Gilbert said with a carefully blank expression.

"Um. Yeah, maybe later." Gilbert's phone started ringing. Thank God. "Hey, you should answer that."

Gilbert grunted acknowledgement and picked up the phone. His eyes lit up when he saw the Caller ID. "Hey! What's up?...Oh, is that this weekend?...Yeah, I think I can get a day off." He flopped onto the couch and put his feet on the coffee table. "You have an air mattress, right?...Tony has the couch…Yeah, I'll explain later…Call me before you leave…Alright, see you tomorrow, Liz."

Antonio had been listening absentmindedly as he finished putting away the dishes, but his ears perked up when he heard the name.

"So, Liz is coming over this weekend. She's looking at a grad program at Columbia or something. So you'll have to share the living room with her. I would've warned you, but I forgot what week it was."

"That's fantastic!" Antonio cried. He'd only met Liz a few times, and always in Gilbert's company, but he quite liked her- and he knew how fond Gilbert was of her. "Is she coming alone?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Wait. Is she still seeing Roderich?" Back in college, Liz had always made a point of visiting Gilbert at least once a semester. One time, she'd brought a friend. A male friend. Gilbert hadn't been thrilled about it. Aside from being competition, Roderich was just not the kind of person Gilbert could get along with. Antonio, who got along with everyone, had wound up hooking up with Roderich, which made Gilbert feel better about the situation- until a few months later when Liz told him they were dating.

"I guess so. We don't really talk about him much. Again, why?"

"Don't you see? This is your big chance!"

"Chance to what?" Gilbert was starting to sound annoyed.

"Honestly, Gil. I'm supposed to be the ditzy, oblivious one. If she's broken up with Roderich, then you have another shot with her. And if they're still together, then this is your chance to change her mind."

"That's a dumb idea," Gilbert said flatly.

"What! Why?"

"Well…" He started counting on his fingers. "First of all, she has a lot on her mind right now with grad school applications and stuff, so she probably doesn't want to think about relationships. Second of all, we don't know whether she's still with Rod. And third of all, I don't want to fuck up our friendship. Don't wanna cause any drama, y'know?"

"That's…annoyingly mature, actually. But seriously, you don't want to miss an opportunity with her. I mean, you've been in love with her for how long?"

"Hey, who ever said I was in _love _with her?" asked Gilbert with all the righteous scorn of a five year old boy afraid of catching cooties.

"Gil. Sweetie. You are not subtle enough to hide that from _anyone_, let alone your best friend." He ducked as Gilbert threw a pillow at him, and then threw the pillow back. It hit Gilbert in the face. "Okay, okay. But you should at least see it as a chance to, to show her how much her friendship means to you. Or something."

"Yeah, that kinda makes sense." Gilbert looked…thoughtful. It was almost eerie; Gilbert wasn't normally the thinking type. Time for a change of topic.

"So, how's she getting here?"

"She's taking the train from Philly."

"Are you going to pick her up from the train station?"

"Uh…I figured she'd just get a cab. She knows where I live."

"Gilbert Beilschmidt!" he cried, looking mortified. "Show a little compassion. This poor girl, never been to New York-"

"Actually she visited a few times over the summer-"

"- _hardly ever _been to New York," he continued seamlessly, "and you make her find her way across the city all by herself? You know how confusing Grand Central can be."

"She's been here before, though. But I guess it would be a nice gesture…"

"Exactly! Think how much she'd appreciate it." He almost said, _I didn't ever think I'd hear the phrase 'nice gesture' come out of your mouth. You really have matured a lot since college…I don't think I've hear you use the word 'awesome' in a while, either._

"Yeah, I guess that'd be a pretty awesome thing to do." _Damnit. _"I'll text her to see what time the train's supposed to come in. We can iron out the details tomorrow."

"Now that's the chivalrous guy I knew was in there somewhere, underneath all the beer and dirty socks," Antonio said smugly. Gilbert threw another pillow at him.

* * *

><p>That night, Antonio turned his phone on, saw the dozens of texts from Francis, and turned it back off without reading any of them.<p> 


End file.
